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Pushing to compete
by Mike Reilly

In this article I’m going to call some people to task.

More then once; indeed more then 100 times I have heard from coaches "Yep, Competition is great; but my guys are really not interested in competing." What a crock of bull. Now just to be clear let me make a few things very clear. I do not think everyone should enter every competition around. First you should ensure competitions are safe, fair and well run. If you are fighting; do not fight more then once a month and 9 times a year. You should be sure to get a good return on your money if you have to pay to enter. Honestly after doing so many I prefer shows to tournaments. I think the crowd is important. But find something and step up.

Now for those reluctant students. We live in a very scary time. It has little to do with terrorists or nuclear proliferation. It has to be with false self esteem and the lack of shame. Somewhere down the line a bunch of hand wringing ninnies got it in their heads that people’s problems stemmed from low self esteem. Crime, drugs. Huey Lewis and other national tragedies stemmed from poor self esteem in child hood. As a corrective measure we vowed to build our children’s self esteem by any means necessary and eliminate shame. Soon we were rewarding children for the simplest task. Then we move towards eliminating measuring standards that could make someone feel bad about themselves. Good grief kids now commonly play games where no one keeps score; where no one wins or loses. Now of course as they get older the measures are unavoidable. Sadly what we have however is a bunch of kids who have been told they are great who for one reason or another are not measuring up. If I was told I was great and then saw my self failing; I might be inclined to think it was the system that was screwed up.

The reason for all this self esteem BS of course was rooted in the fear that competition would "label" some people and some might be left behind. So in a case of social engineering vs social Darwinism we strive to make sure everyone feels good about them selves; no matter what. We are starting to see the first generation enter HS with the "no losers" approach to education. An environment where mediocrity is rewarded. Again we are removing the fear factor; the fear of failure. Honestly why not fail when there is no penalty for it. We have so many folks out there concerned for people’s self esteem we have built people with over exaggerated sense of self who feel shameless pride in truly empty accomplishments. Yes competition can be expensive; but lack of competition is a wasteland.

For many of us we have students who have never really competed. I can not tell you how many guys have shown up on my mat claiming they want to be fighters. But after a few weeks they realize how hard it is going to be; how often they will get beat before they can win. Since most have never experienced losing they have no idea how to lose and it rips out their hearts. They soon quit and go find something they are good at; like Tekken. Given a choice these guys will not compete. Too scary, too risky? What if they lose? What if they get hurt. But they need not fear because Sensei won’t push them; besides you can get your black belt without it; so why bother.

This begs the question: If you are not pushing them what the hell good are you? You don't think we have enough people or institutions in our modern world that just let people be what they want to be? You don't think our culture offers enough rewards for mediocrity. Look given the choice between having to step up and prove it or being able to be a dojo master with out ever having to take the risk of getting beat where do you think most people will come down? You are giving them the option to hide; to avoid challenge to avoid fear. This is why I find the non-competition mind set of TMA so disturbing. OK the ring is not the right place for some 40 or 50 year old. It is not the place for the weak of infirm. But do not deceive the weak and infirm into believing they are something other then what they are. Now look at that 20 something full of piss and vinegar. Let him avoid the lessons of sport - the lesson one only learns getting his ass kicked and you build a young man of ego and illusion.

As a coach (sensei, Master, what ever) it is your job to push that student. It is your duty to help them discover their best. To help them over come fear, weakness, doubt. You are their guide. The greatest discovery to be made is to find yourself someplace you never thought you would be. I can not tell you the thrill I feel when one of my students steps into the ring the first time. Win lose or draw I know they will step out a better person then when they went in. They exit braver, tougher and wiser about themselves. If you won’t push them you had better ask yourself why? If you don’t feel it is your place; then you are not their teacher. Close up shop and leave it to better people.

I believe the real reason most TMA instructors do not want their students to compete is it shatters the illusion. So many teach with the belief they are infallible. That they are powerful and their system in unbeatable. Come on, how many of you have been to seminars that promise to teach knock out power? How many of these Knock experts do we see in the ring? Zero; why? Because they would get whipped, exposed. If you are teaching your student that this is the ultimate self defense and then he steps up and some high school wrestler destroys him in 30 seconds; well it can be a blow. He might even leave the Kwoon and go some place he can learn something useful feeling you have lied to him. He may just get his heart broken and go home to bake cookies. If you walk in to prove your style your style will suffer.

To many TMA instructors have way to much ego involved to be able to compete. I always tell my students "bring you ego out on the mat and it’s going to get broken." I have known a lot of coaches, some I have a lot of respect for who have stopped their students or sabotaged their own students by all owing their egos to come involved. When one of my students walks into the ring I assure them they are not carrying my face. They can not shame me or the team once they have stepped between the ropes they have already shown me all the respect, won all the glory for the team that they can. Winning or losing does not matter as much as stepping up to the test. All winning gets you is a tougher opponent next month. But many coaches think they will be shamed as teachers that their style will be proved inferior. So the solution: don’t compete. This is a sick, sad and cowardly way to conduct yourself. If you’re a martial artist you step in, end of story.

Again let me emphasize this does not mean do something stupid. You do not put a novice in a no holds barred fight for money, marbles and chalk. You do not enter shoddy run, low level tournaments with poor refing and dangerous rules. You find a promoter or tournament director that is willing to work with you. Someone who will give you an honest assessment of your guys and match them up accordingly. Find someone willing to work with you over a period of time who will help promote your school and your students. But do find that person; or if you need to become that person. Don’t let your light burn under a bushel; let it shine or at least flicker in the ring.